I love that word because we need so much more of it in this world, in our minds, and within the Christian community. 

LET’S BE REAL HERE.

Glitter wears off. One of my first realizations was a glimpse into the life of a missionary. After just the first couple of days here, I realized how quickly the new and exciting things became so mundane. When you’re just a tourist, you’re allowed to live in the glitter of things. You roll in the glitter a bit, then you move on. But the glitter of a new place, new people, new foods, new places, idea of being a missionary - when it all wears off, it’s their immense love for God and his people that keep them there. That takes dedication and perseverance. 

We all need friends. I think people forget that I can get shy. Yeah, I get along with people, but I’m not always the type to start and carry conversations. Especially when everyone is talking about the beers they want to drink and why stupid politicians would cheat on their hot wives, I don’t have much to contribute to the conversation. I have yet to click/hit it off with anyone, thinking wow I can really see myself being close to this person. Out of the 114 students from all over the US in this program, I have yet to find a sold-out for Jesus believer. Jesus as the common denominator is a great way to make close friends, but that’s not available. So that + my independent ways (to a fault at times) = no friends, just acquaintances. But I am thankful for the people that I have met and the times that I have been able to talk and hang out with them. 

It’s only been a week, and I know that I’ll have friends, eventually. But I can’t help wondering, how do all these people seem so close? How are those kids already the “popular group”? I think they went out without me!…… But with all these insecure thoughts, God reminded and rebuked me in amazing love. Even if I do not become friends with any of these people, I want to be satisfied knowing that I have been able to shine my Jesus light & people got to see God’s love for them through me. GOD’S GLORY > my need for friends. I know God will give me friends but my heart needs to be surrendered to him, my life surrendered for his kingdom, for his cause. So now I’m at a place of thinking and acting- how can I love, how can I serve, how can I include people, how can I show these people how much God freaking loves them and wants them?? 

No matter where I go, PEOPLE NEED JESUS. We all need a savior like Jesus. We all want a king like Jesus. Christians and non-Christians need Jesus. But first people who do not know Christ and his love. Within my (extended) family, my high school teachers and friends, my school, Berkeley, I see people who desperately want to encounter a love like Jesus’ - they just don’t know it! But even in Berlin, far from everything that I associate with “my life” - people need Jesus. Duh, right? But the reality of it is so much more heartbreaking when you’re there and getting to know them and loving them. I live with a woman who feels closer to God in beautiful nature and does dance therapy but believes her Indian yoga teacher in that there are as many ways to God as there are people. There is a girl from Iowa who was completely in the Christian bubble with all her friends and family but then the doubts and questions took over and she realized that she never really felt like God loved her. There is a girl from Berkeley who is known for always wearing a tail and is into anime and fetish modeling. When looking at people’s interactions, it is so obvious that we all want attention, someone to understand us, to listen to us, to care about our lives, to love us. It’s shocking how few of them have met a “real Christian.” Followers of Christ, WE NEED TO SHINE BRIGHTTT!!!!! I am learning how to do so more and more, how to step aside, put death to my flesh so that Jesus can shine through. But I realize esp at LWberks (<3) it’s too easy to get sucked into a world of believers. (ok enough about that for now. i’m down to talk more about this with anyone!!) 

Christians need Jesus “all day, errday.” I visited a Sunday service at one church and a Bible study at another. At the service, the pastor told an Eskimo(?) proverb. This guy with two dogs travels to different cities and makes money by having people bet on which dog will win in a dog fight. The guy always puts his bet on the right dog and wins loads of money every time. When someone asked how he always knew which dog would win the fight, he said it was easy. The week before, he would starve one of the dogs then place his bet on the dog that he fed. It’s like our flesh and spirit. Who will we feed —> who will win. (ok that was kinda random but I just thought that was such a good illustration) We all need Jesus. Visited churches- instead of being my default critical self, I chose instead to be love and blessings. And it was so beautiful to see how God is moving in these places. Though the people serving may not be perfect, God sees their hearts and uses them. So humbling and awesome. OH my gosh- my soc professor thinks there will come a time when animals will be equally valued as humans. WE NEED JESUS LOVERS IN ACADEMIA!!!!! People who are really gifted at loving God with their minds- GO TO THE PULPITS OF UNIVERSITIES AKA CLASSROOMS!! We need people who serve God the king of kings to be talking about Copernicus and Marx. 

I have free time. Especially the first week where we only had orientations/tours and this first week of class. This is a strange phenomenon and I often explore my surroundings by myself. I learned that pandora, hulu, netflix and most music videos on youtube don’t work outside of the US. I watched Schindler’s List and two documentaries on Martin Luther & rewatched Furious Love. 

Poop and pee. The experience changes at least a little bit when you leave the states. And it doesn’t help when you can’t really speak the language. If you want to hear related stories, feel free to ask :) 

My community back in CA is a treasure. I am reminded again that I am truly truly blessed. Not everyone is blessed with such legit friends and family. I got to depend on my family for stuff & vchat with my mom. I love how family is slowly becoming a place where good things happen. home home friends & LW friends your love and support has been such an integral part of my experience abroad - knowing that somewhere in this world are the friends that I need. 

This has gotten so long. Typical me. I think I am learning to be okay with the fact that I talk a lot sometimes -_- GOD IS GOOD!